At some point in time we have to come to terms with how HIV came into our lives. There is a WHY. There is a trail of breadcrumbs as to how we got here. There was an opening in our lives that the virus walked through. It is the healing of this WHY that eventually makes us whole again, and aids us in fighting the disease in a natural way.
I think of diseases and pathogens as a burglar trying to break into your house. They are usually looking for easy targets.
A burglar is less likely to break into your house (infect you) if you’ve taken the time to install an alarm system (if a person has healthy sense of spiritual being), have the alarm turned on (a healthy emotional and mental being), and locked the front door (have a healthy immune system/ physical being)
Some people install the alarm system, but never turn it on. And then some people never install the alarm and walk out of the house with the front door wide open. I’ve seen this occur with chronic drug abusers.
Infection and disease happens on many levels.
At the cellular level, the HIV virus latches onto a T cell by fooling its receptors, releases it’s RNA into a cell, subverts the DNA replication mechanism, and then turns the T-cell into a viral replication factory.
At the body level, not taking care of oneself physically leaves an open door in the immune system. Toxic diets, drug abuse, lack of sleep,some prescription medications all leave our immune systems exposed and beaten up. The HIV virus has a much harder time infecting someone with a healthy and vital lymphatic system.
At an emotional level, lack of self-esteem, lack of self-love, disproportionate overgrowth of the ego, a dependance on drugs, a dependance on body image, a dependance on sexual gratification to fill in for that lack of self-love can leave a personal highly vulnerable. Vulnerable in the sense that they may not be able to re-spond to situations. Re-spond as in responsibility for self. People who are shut down emotionally or who are chronically defensive may not be able to see the full range of choices that they have available
At a energetic level, people are like radio towers, broadcasting who we are as a being, and attracting listeners who respond at that (energetic) level. If a person is broadcasting a lack of self-worth, then they tend to call in beings/situations/lessons/reminders/mirrors that enforce the energy level of not being worthy. When I say beings, I mean people or spirits… or any being.
A victim is a victim until they realize they have more choice. This gestalt on every level needs to be addressed.
A bit of my story…
There is a saying that I have seen on posters in the Castro – ”Try Meth, Get HIV for Free”.
HIV came into my life seven years ago when meth was also present in my life. I was partying on the weekends and sometimes at home to go to work on Monday. This was a time in my life when the party circuit was still a major influence on me. I was defined internally by who my friends were and how I looked. I was endlessly chasing external validation in a myriad of forms. I was not an honest human being. I was broadcasting at a low energy level. I attracted a partner who was capable of lying to me about his HIV. I magnetized to myself a man who was uninterested in not infecting me. I believe the meth that I was using (even occasionally) was ruining my physical body’s natural defenses, it was a major chink in my armor. I also believe that the lifestyle I was living, and the thought-forms that I was holding left a major vulnerability in my energetic armor.
A year after I seroconverted, I was on medications. I believed that I was on the road to health, and that everything would be fine; the pills would take care of everything. What I failed to consider was that I was trading long-term health issues for a short-term peace of mind. HIV Meds may make the numbers on the printed blood test report go up, but in the mean time it may trash your heart, give you diabetes, and mess with your DNA.
Even more important, at the time I failed to address the WHY of my HIV. I failed to address the emotional, spiritual, and energetic issues.
People who have heart attacks very often have emotional issues concerning their heart. The heart chackra is energetically damaged or weak. There are probably more things than saturated fat that contributed to a weak heart, the emotional and energetic must be taken into account to get a whole picture.
Similarly I find many HIV positive people have had common issues:
Unhealthy Boundaries - This can apply in both an immune sense and mental sense. An unhealthy boundary can let unhealthy RNA into your cells, unhealthy thought-forms into your mind, or toxic people into your lives.
Lack of Self Love - this is often the cause of unhealthy boundaries. This plays itself out when people are not in control of themselves.
Lack of Connectedness and Support. I grew up gay in Texas. Believe me, I know this one.
There are more, but these stand out. Whatever is your personal why… HIV is that hard and clear lesson. It’s the wake up call. It comes at a high cost, but it’s a very clear message to your life. Heal yourself, and not just with a pill.
I leave you with an excellent lesson that was passed on to me from a wonderful shaman friend.
I love blogging at 1a.m.